Millions of young women (and men) across the country flooded to the movie theaters this weekend to see the movie, “Think Like a Man,” based upon Steve Harvey’s bestselling book, “Act Like a Woman Think Like a Man.” Overall the movie was enjoyable to watch, except for the typical, hypocritical Christian characters and the world’s false teachings of sex. Instead of critiquing the movie, I want to discuss the main idea which drew such a large audience to view the movie, which was how to get and keep a man.
THE STATE OF MALE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
Most women desire to get married one day, and statistics shows that 93% of people in America will eventually get married. But the question becomes how many of these women will be able to keep or stay in these marriages? Statistics show that currently 51% of marriages end in divorce, and 66% of second marriages also end in divorce. From these studies we can see that there is a serious problem with the current state of male and female relationships.
Steve Harvey’s book was originally written to help women in their quest for not only finding a man, but also keeping one. The book provided insider tips to women on the secret minds of men, which if used wisely could assist any woman in being able to find and keep the man of her dreams. While I don’t want to attack everything that Steve Harvey wrote in his book, because I believe that he tried his best to pour out his heart and soul into trying to help women, I want to expound and bring better clarity to certain topics which were portrayed in the movie.
WOMEN DON’T CHASE MEN
Today most women are the ones who are proactively pursuing men in relationships, which was depicted in the movie with most of the female characters being the ones leading and being in control of the relationship. This is a problem because it’s never in a woman’s best interest to chase after a man, especially in a relationship. If a woman begins the relationship chasing after a man, she will spend her entire life chasing and pursuing that same man. Which is why most women are still unmarried after dating the same man for years. Men should be the initiators and the leaders in any relationship, that is why it’s the job for the man to ask the woman’s hand in marriage. The man should always be lovingly pursuing the woman, and if the women is spending most of her time trying to beg the man to stay with her, it’s the easiest sign to see the he doesn’t desire to be with her.
LISTEN TO GOOD ADVICE
One of the great points that the movie made is that women need to stop taking advice from other women friends (who also happen to be single) in regard to relationships with men. Instead, women should also be learning and seeking counsel from men who have their best interest in heart. This job is historically reserved for the father, but unfortunately most people in our generation don’t have that luxury. This is where I would suggest that women should always run the man first by her father, brother, or trustworthy male friends.
DON’T GET PHYSICAL TOO EARLY
What Steve and I both agreed upon is that women should take their time in finding more information about a man before she ever gets intimate with him on either a physical or emotional level. The sad thing about most women is that they are too quick to throw themselves onto any man that shows them any attention.
One of the characters in the movie had a problem with being the typical one night stand girl, which led to the lack of respect that she received from men. I would advise all women who want to keep a man to know that one night stands are the quickest ways to not only shame yourself, but also chase men away. Also, a woman should watch the way that she dresses and present herself. As shown in the movie, a woman dressing in a very sexy or provocative way will usually lead to men viewing her less than an a person and more like a piece of meat.
I LOVE YOU, REALLY?
In the movie we learned about the ninety day rule, which taught women that they were supposed to wait ninety days before giving a man “the cookie.” While I disagree with this rule and will talk more about that rule on my article on Wednesday, I want to focus and discuss about what the movie called the exception to the rule.
I will paraphrase the movie, “I love you is the three magic words, if used by a man, which will allow the cookies in the cookie jar to be available for the taking.” The problem with our current generation is that I love you has been so watered down that it has no real meaning. How many women have heard a man say, “I love you” only for him to break your hearts a few days later. Love should not be used as a noun (thing) but as a verb (action). If a woman would “open the cookie jar” for any man who would say that he loves her, she will be opening the cookie jar for everybody. Instead of having sex with a man that says I love you, I would argue that a man needs to first show the woman the loves her before she takes the relationship to any type of intimate level. Make sure that you read the article on Wednesday so I can explain the way that a man shows that he loves a woman.
THINK LIKE A WOMAN
Overall while I disagree with most of the things that the movie was teaching, I do appreciate the central message behind it. Prior to common misconceptions, Steve Harvey wasn’t telling women to behave like men, rather he was advising them to learn about men from other men, instead of their clueless single friends. I believe this is a good and practical principle for women to abide by. Also, I would advise that a woman should constantly be taking advise from wise, godly, mature women in her life in regards to men and relationships.
Women need to have a healthy understanding of what her standards should be for a man. Standards don’t mean that you are judging a man based on his looks, bank account, or type of car he drives. Those are all material possessions and it means nothing about who the man really is. It’s the heart of the man that really matters. Women should be asking deep, penetrating questions trying to discover the true character of any man that she would be interested in before she puts any real time and effort into that relationship.
Keeping and finding a man isn’t rocket science as long you are desiring after a noble and godly man. And women should never lower their standards just because they are desperate in being with or finding a man. Prior to what Jerry McGuire said, a man will never complete you. I remember my friend gave some great advice that all women should listen to and meditate on, “The only thing worse than being single, lonely, and depressed is to be married, lonely, and depressed.”